Tag: Q&A

Question: “When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.” Could you refresh me on what “scream non-violently” is? Answer: That’s where you express your pain “nakedly and without blame”. An example from the book: “Hey, I’m…

Question: “We accept responsibility rather than blame other people for our feelings by acknowledging our own needs, desires, expectations, values, or thoughts.” I’m unclear on how this works with the NVC formula, or if it is something separate. Needs are the only thing mentioned in the formula, but I’ve seen the examples use values and…

Question: “Mommy is disappointed when you don’t finish your food.” is changed to “Mommy feels disappointed when you don’t finish your food, because I want you to grow up strong and healthy.” Why? Answer: So the basic NVC model is observations, feelings, needs, and requests. And when you’re doing NVC for real, not just saying…