Meaning and Magic

Tag: NVC

  • NVC Question #3

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    divia
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    Question: “When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.” Could you refresh me on what “scream non-violently” is? Answer: That’s where you express your pain “nakedly and without blame”. An example from the book: “Hey, I’m…

  • NVC Question #2

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    divia
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    Question: “We accept responsibility rather than blame other people for our feelings by acknowledging our own needs, desires, expectations, values, or thoughts.” I’m unclear on how this works with the NVC formula, or if it is something separate. Needs are the only thing mentioned in the formula, but I’ve seen the examples use values and…

  • NVC on Caltrain

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    divia
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    I’ve decided to finally write up a story I’ve been bragging about ever since it happened (around this summer, I think). I was on the Caltrain heading to the South Bay from San Francisco, and somewhere along the line a bunch of drunk guys got on and started yelling pretty heatedly at each other about…

  • NVC Question #1

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    divia
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    Question: “Mommy is disappointed when you don’t finish your food.” is changed to “Mommy feels disappointed when you don’t finish your food, because I want you to grow up strong and healthy.” Why? Answer: So the basic NVC model is observations, feelings, needs, and requests. And when you’re doing NVC for real, not just saying…

  • How to read NVC

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    divia
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    Nonviolent Communication is one of my favorite books. I recommend it to pretty much everyone I know who hasn’t already read it, and I’ve found myself repeating (and I hope refining) roughly the same disclaimer/explanation about how to approach the book, largely derived from the questions people keep asking me about it. So, to avoid…