Tag: NVC

Question: I’m still kind of confused about the NVC general sense of the term ‘need’. I’d before been thinking that NVC talks about ‘needs’ rather than ‘values’ or ‘wants’ because by thinking of them as needs, people would respect the desire once noticing and taking account of it, in themselves and/or others. So this was…

Question: How does “I need to…” relate to NVC needs, such as judgments being alienated expressions of unmet needs? Answer: “I need to” is classified as an internal demand, which is related to a judgment, but a bit different. “Demand” means that fear, guilt, or shame are part of the enforcement system.

Not quite a question, more of a prompt for discussion:  I find it very interesting to say “We don’t talk except to meet our needs.” At one level it’s trivially true because you don’t do anything without a reason. At another, it’s not as true. Often the need in question is ‘fill dead air’ or…

Question: It seems to me from reading the book that what he calls “observation” can only include direct observations of physical actions and all frequency statements must be strictly numeric. In fact, any non-exact statements seem to be outside the definition, whether they include estimates of frequency or not. The examples were telling because they…

Question: I’m wondering how one would actually make one the requests outlined in the book as un-NVC: “I’d like you to respect my privacy.” Yes, in one particular instance this could mean knocking on the door, but how would I make the more general need known? There are many times when it is not reasonable…