Meaning and Magic

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  • Rationalist Conversation Patterns

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    divia
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    A few months ago a conversation I had with someone at one of the NYC Rationality meetups prompted me to write an email on the subject of rationalist conversational norms. I kept telling myself I’d distill my points from the email into a more coherent summary, and I’ve haven’t, so instead I’m posting it pretty…

  • NVC Question #4

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    divia
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    Question: “We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.” Do you know what he means by “request for relief?” Is that asking them to do something so that we feel better? Answer: I’m not completely sure. I think it means…

  • NVC/IFS in Action: Nausea

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    divia
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    I’m a firm believer that physical sensations on their own do not create suffering—that suffering arises when there’s some sort of internal conflict. The book Nonviolent Communication includes a story of a woman resolving a migraine by connecting with her underlying needs, which, to me, was one of the less believable parts of the book…

  • NVC in Action: Tovar

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    divia
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    I often practice my NVC skills during conflicts with Tovar (my favorite five-year old :-)). Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. One night last week, it worked amusingly well, so I thought I’d share. Tovar got upset when I trapped him under a blanket for a few seconds while we were roughhousing. He did his…

  • NVC Question #3

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    divia
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    Question: “When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.” Could you refresh me on what “scream non-violently” is? Answer: That’s where you express your pain “nakedly and without blame”. An example from the book: “Hey, I’m…