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Not quite a question, more of a prompt for discussion:  I find it very interesting to say “We don’t talk except to meet our needs.” At one level it’s trivially true because you don’t do anything without a reason. At another, it’s not as true. Often the need in question is ‘fill dead air’ or…

Question: It seems to me from reading the book that what he calls “observation” can only include direct observations of physical actions and all frequency statements must be strictly numeric. In fact, any non-exact statements seem to be outside the definition, whether they include estimates of frequency or not. The examples were telling because they…

Question: I’m wondering how one would actually make one the requests outlined in the book as un-NVC: “I’d like you to respect my privacy.” Yes, in one particular instance this could mean knocking on the door, but how would I make the more general need known? There are many times when it is not reasonable…

Question: “I want you to stop drinking.” This, it seems, is not a clear request that a specific action be taken. We are, as he says, not in agreement. He says, the speaker might have said: “I want you to tell me what needs of yours are met by drinking, and to discuss with me…

Question: “When others trust that our primary commitment is to the quality of the relationship, and that we expect this process to fulfill everyone’s needs, then they can trust that our requests are true requests and not camouflaged demands.” I’m not sure exactly what he means by this. Would you mind elaborating? Answer: With NVC,…