Meaning and Magic

Author: divia

  • NVC Question #4

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    Question: “We stay with empathy, allowing others the opportunity to fully express themselves before we turn our attention to solutions or requests for relief.” Do you know what he means by “request for relief?” Is that asking them to do something so that we feel better? Answer: I’m not completely sure. I think it means…

  • NVC/IFS in Action: Nausea

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    I’m a firm believer that physical sensations on their own do not create suffering—that suffering arises when there’s some sort of internal conflict. The book Nonviolent Communication includes a story of a woman resolving a migraine by connecting with her underlying needs, which, to me, was one of the less believable parts of the book…

  • NVC in Action: Tovar

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    I often practice my NVC skills during conflicts with Tovar (my favorite five-year old :-)). Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. One night last week, it worked amusingly well, so I thought I’d share. Tovar got upset when I trapped him under a blanket for a few seconds while we were roughhousing. He did his…

  • NVC Question #3

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    Question: “When we sense ourselves being defensive or unable to empathize, we need to (a) stop, breathe, give ourselves empathy (b) scream nonviolently, or (c) take time out.” Could you refresh me on what “scream non-violently” is? Answer: That’s where you express your pain “nakedly and without blame”. An example from the book: “Hey, I’m…

  • NVC Question #2

    —

    by

    divia
    in

    Question: “We accept responsibility rather than blame other people for our feelings by acknowledging our own needs, desires, expectations, values, or thoughts.” I’m unclear on how this works with the NVC formula, or if it is something separate. Needs are the only thing mentioned in the formula, but I’ve seen the examples use values and…